Gussly the Pooh
Rational thought is a curious thing. In a bar if a man is listening to an attractive woman opposite is he thinking rationally? Or is he thinking about far more exciting, what Borat might call 'sexy time', extra curricular activities?
Broadly - being rational is being adult. Which is boring. Indisputably.
It would be nice if it were possible to take leave of adult world like a soldier takes leave of the army. Many of us attempt it by going on holiday or to a health spa or to a red light district or by taking drugs or by becoming a temporary kid, a Kidult; but the real adult world with it's various rational parts is always there chugging away. Some of the time at least we must all take part in it. Which in many respects, although not fun, is fundamentally good.
Millions of people, past and present, have worked hard or died to provide the environment we live in; one in which we have time to think irrationally and excitingly. And one in which there are health centres with district nurses who appear normal even when handed unsavoury medical samples.
Glamourously, over the last two days Gussly has had to perform a series of hideous processes to fill a small tub with pooh. Not dog pooh, but my pooh. A completely strange task. I imagine providing a sample of the brown is not something that people particularly look forward to in life. Not like, say, a white Christmas or their wedding day. Nevertheless it definitely goes on.
So next time you find yourself bored at thinking about train times or buying washing detergent remember there is probably someone somewhere in the world who has just spent time preparing, storing and delivering their own pooh to a stranger in scrubs.
They will have 'dropped off the kids at the pool' then gone fishing in the pool to retrieve one of the them. Once in a transparent jar the brown medical sample would then have been transported out of their bathroom, out of their house, to a car, to a waiting room. Throughout the journey every time that person put their hand in their pocket it was there. Every time the person walked past someone they knew they were carrying concealed pooh in public as they did so.
Irrationally or rationally it is completely hideous and gross.
Broadly - being rational is being adult. Which is boring. Indisputably.
It would be nice if it were possible to take leave of adult world like a soldier takes leave of the army. Many of us attempt it by going on holiday or to a health spa or to a red light district or by taking drugs or by becoming a temporary kid, a Kidult; but the real adult world with it's various rational parts is always there chugging away. Some of the time at least we must all take part in it. Which in many respects, although not fun, is fundamentally good.
Millions of people, past and present, have worked hard or died to provide the environment we live in; one in which we have time to think irrationally and excitingly. And one in which there are health centres with district nurses who appear normal even when handed unsavoury medical samples.
Glamourously, over the last two days Gussly has had to perform a series of hideous processes to fill a small tub with pooh. Not dog pooh, but my pooh. A completely strange task. I imagine providing a sample of the brown is not something that people particularly look forward to in life. Not like, say, a white Christmas or their wedding day. Nevertheless it definitely goes on.
So next time you find yourself bored at thinking about train times or buying washing detergent remember there is probably someone somewhere in the world who has just spent time preparing, storing and delivering their own pooh to a stranger in scrubs.
They will have 'dropped off the kids at the pool' then gone fishing in the pool to retrieve one of the them. Once in a transparent jar the brown medical sample would then have been transported out of their bathroom, out of their house, to a car, to a waiting room. Throughout the journey every time that person put their hand in their pocket it was there. Every time the person walked past someone they knew they were carrying concealed pooh in public as they did so.
Irrationally or rationally it is completely hideous and gross.
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